Life what’s the point! I respect everything that’s living, may not be all the time, but I respect who you are; if I only had something to show for it, but I have nothing to say; silence by my everyday struggles. They say family comes first, but my family could only do so much& I have little to give; seems like the past is just a memory & reminiscing is dreadful& the present rarely gets any gratitude for what I’m fully capable of, I’m very capable but I have no where to go, no steady income so I’m back to a hood mentality. Where do I go from here? Will I ever have a purpose? The future is always bright when you have enough currency to change your directions on these train rails of life, but I can’t give anymore.
I need more, I’m craving for much more; I’ve seen, felt,& experience different aspects, different points of view through life with drugs. I was curious, I loved it. I regret them at times but I could blame these problems on alot of things; but it’s not all really about the drugs it was just the cards I was dealt with from the get go; it never seemed like I had something worth looking forward to; is that why? My dreams have always remained just dreams; unreal, “but they say your unreal “. It’s there own opinion but with someone who has a bleak POV on life, well hey…. I’m not blaming my parents, but it could’ve been me all along, looking back at my adolescents and younger age I never tried hard enough (even though I went on doing task with the exact opposite approach ).
It’s like it was destined for me to be erased & forgotten, cemented to the side lines. The laughable thing about it is that they say they’d “miss you” if I was gone, but it’s not true; I wasn’t worth it before now or even later, but as I watch the sun and the moon rise and drop; until I take my last breath I’d always remain a Phoenix rising from the ashes. While you enjoy yours I walk the earth always elevating. I never really was alone but it’s just so hard to describe, there’s too many details I can’t describe that aren’t worth repeating anymore. I don’t think you’d want to know because my future isn’t promised neither is anybody’s, but mine is just bleak, sad but true. I’ve tried but I’m fighting a losing battle. I don’t want to point fingers anymore give me your worst. This may doing all negative but my life sucks& I can’t really share it with anyone there’s just too many details into my life I can’t describe.
If your not from where I’m from you probably wouldn’t understand.
Big Homie Twuan
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